First, you have to talk your SO into taking you to Hawaii.
Which proved to be not too difficult after I told him I wanted to go to Kaua'i, not the more populated islands, against which he is unreasonably prejudiced.
The flights and layovers were long and arduous.
Memo to self: next time, pay the extra fifty dollars for a more direct flight.
Here we are at Honolulu airport, the most beautiful airport in the world. We are still smiling, but still have one more flight to go.
Just to back up my claim, these are views from the open-air corridors in the "secure" part of the terminal.
Then, when you have had a good sleep and have suitably gathered yourself together, go exploring in a lovely little touristy-trap town like Kapa'a. Decide (within minutes) that your crinkly-cotton travel-wear is not going to do the trick at all because you are dying from the heat and humidity and you just have to get not-one-but-two of those cute little dresses at the market, even though they reveal the white flabby tops of your arms and are made of rayon so will probably shrink-beyond-all-fit after you wash them the first time.
And only then.
Should you go get a shaved ice.
With macadamia ice cream in the bottom (because you have a coupon for a free scoop) and banana/passionfruit/coconut syrup (because that's what the server recommended) poured heavily all over the ice.
And then, make your sweetie share it with you, even though he ate a huge breakfast and claimed not to want any, because you just can't tackle all that sweetness on your own.
First, scoop off the syrupy ice, trying different flavour combinations.
Then dig under the ice to find the ice cream.
When you get tired of scooping, use the straw to drink the icy/creamy slush at the bottom of the cup.
And when you absolutely cannot face another spoonful, toss the remains into the nearest rubbish bin.
And then, shy away from sweets for hours afterwards because you are both suffering from sugar overload.
That is how to eat your first (and in my case, my last) Hawaiian shaved ice.
P.S. I have been gently reminded that it is correctly called "shave ice". Which, in my mind, is ungrammatical, so I shall leave the nomenclature as is.