About four o'clock this morning it came to me. Hopefully, the ideas are all as brilliant as they seemed at that ungodly hour.
First of all, my friend, let me say that I have many of the same qualms as you. The inequity in the world and inconsistencies in church leadership (and sometimes doctrine) disturb me. I often long for some honest discussion in Sunday School and other church classes rather than the "pat" answers, or just a simple admission that we don't have all the answers yet and that it is okay. I strive every day to understand my place in this world and to define the responsibility that I feel for being born into such a privileged situation. As my life has become less encumbered with financial struggles and raising children, I am looking outside my immediate situation to see what I can do to lessen the burdens of others. Hence, my involvement in Haiti and our recent decision to help sponsor a child of lepers in India. Small steps, but steps in the right direction, I think.
I talked to my son, Jon, who is both a scientist and a philosopher, about your science-fueled skepticism. I asked him how he reconciles his belief in evolution and other scientific theories with his faith. I got an earful, but when I pressed him to tell me WHY he had taken this path of faithfulness, rather than the secular scientific path, he said that he supposed it was because of his whole life experience. He was lucky enough to be guided in his scientific journey by brilliant professors at BYU, but he also recognizes God’s hand in his life. I think this is the key. Jon is also aware of the same scientific discoveries and studies that have added to your doubts. He says that the difference is that, as a church member and a scientist, he has to keep an open mind for all truth. It is erroneous to say that only religion or only science can be correct. He fully believes that science and religion are compatible and that we should not teach our children that they must choose between the two.
I also defer to Jeff, who is a biblical scholar and historian. His studies of ancient myths, scriptures, and archaeological findings constantly affirm his faith. He also acknowledges God's hand throughout his life. Next time you wend your way to our door, I would love you to exchange ideas with Jon and Jeff. It would be a true meeting of the minds.
I believe that the light of Christ within us allows us to have an affinity for the truth, so that we recognize it when we hear it. I also think that the things of the world, such as addiction, the pursuit of knowledge or wealth or prestige, can cause us to leave the path of faithfulness. We need to recognize God’s hand in our lives and keep our minds open so that we can receive his guidance and be willing to learn his truths.
So, in my life, I choose to have faith. As I see my children choosing the same path, the goodness in their lives confirms my resolution. I recognize that my understanding of truth is not perfect and I try to remain open to learning new truth. As I recognize the hand of the Lord in my life every day, it strengthens my faith and overcomes my natural tendency towards cynicism.
I hope this has given you some food for thought, my friend. And that I wasn't preachy. Heaven forbid I ever get preachy! Perhaps some of my other illustrious friends will chime in on the conversation in the comments section. I certainly do not have the monopoly around here on deep thinking!
I welcome honest discussion in Sunday School and hope that I don't communicate otherwise. Bring it on please! I've heard many of those discontented thoughts expressed online, and was shocked that some LDS have these questions or believe differently than I do, ie. the flood, creationism, etc. No one ever expresses that in church. Why not? - I've asked them. They say they don't want to make waves, so to speak. But there has to be answers, so IMO let the discussion happen. For me personally, I don't have any discontent (99% of the time), so usually the questions don't occur to me. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't really critiquing your teaching, Brenda, just expressing the discomfort I feel when I do say something that could be deemed controversial. Someone always comes up with the standard answer and that is not what I need to hear. I don't have problems with basic doctrine, but there are many things that I wonder about or struggle with in my head. It would be nice to sometimes hear that others are in the same boat and to hear their ideas.
ReplyDeleteFurther thoughts: It seems to all come down to faith and agency. We are here to learn, among other things, faith. We are commanded to be faithful. We are not commanded to have knowledge or to have all the answers. If we had all the answers, there'd be no need for faith and our mortal test would be over. It may seem like an overly easy/simplistic answer, but it works for me. If God/Prophet/scriptures mean what they say, then for me, faith kicks in and the disagreement ends. If science conflicts, then science has some error in it somewhere, which has been known to happen. Today's RS lesson on the Holy Ghost comes to mind, as the HG is here to help us find truth. God knew there'd be these questions and disagreements, so he didn't leave us alone to be "tossed to and fro".
ReplyDeleteAgency is our ability to choose. I, like you, choose faith and the "fruits" of choosing faith all of my life have been so obvious to me, that I'd be a fool to toss it aside.
I completely agree with your comment. I plan to keep asking.
ReplyDeletemy thoughts.
ReplyDeletethe thirteenth article of faith states (among many other things), that "if there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy we seek after these things." I interpret this to mean that we are supposed to continue to seek after knowledge. I embrace science even when I disagree with it because I think that God is found and re-enforced in the search. I too feel left out in conversations at church (not your fault Brenda...after all I'm in primary) because the few times I hear an interesting topic come up it seems to get skipped over, dissenting voices are ignored. I prefer not to dwell on the negative while at church but in my personal/private life I prefer real, true, deep conversation.
Not preachy. Good thoughts. I wish I had something brilliant to add, but I'll just say "yup". ;)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this post and haven't had a lot of time the last couple days, but I wanted to check my journal because I remember writing about my feelings on this a little and kind of a turning point for me. I had been struggling a bit with some questions and doubts, things from the secular or scientific world, and felt bad about that, although I didn't change my life or stop keeping the commandments or anything. I found the journal entry I wrote and it may not sound very life-changing, but it helped my perspective. It was just the impression I received after prayer and going to the temple that it's okay not to know. That's what faith is for. Faith isn't knowing everything. Sometimes I might have to walk in the dark for awhile. I just need to trust and hope and keep behaving as if it were true, and the fruits of living the gospel prove it to be a good tree. I also like thinking of it as the ebb and flow of the ocean. Sometimes the water of testimony or faith is rushing over us and sometimes it recedes for awhile. We just need to trust that it will come back, because if we stick around long enough it always will. And when it's receded if we keep searching, we can find the treasures of the ocean, like beautiful seashells. I think the problem happens if when we have doubts, we use that as an excuse to turn away from the commandments and the gospel, because then we lose some of that spirit that would help us strengthen our faith and conviction.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kathy, that was beautifully said and exactly how I feel. I don't mind not knowing or understanding everything,in fact I would rather people say that than try to explain everything away in simplistic terms. And I do think that the road to loss of faith is a slippery slope that, once we step on it, is hard to leave. When my mind doubts, I just cling to my routines and habits or the strength of those whom I trust, and wait for some glimmer of enlightenment. It always comes eventually. And the fruit of the good tree is such a wonderful metaphor.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this post and all of the comments. All of us have experienced those times of wondering and questioning and having to re-strengthen our faith. The input from others always helps us to refocus. I think we all have also been in those classes where the thread does get followed and the spirit in the room goes flat and I think that is why it is so difficult as a teacher to field the "tough" questions. Good friends in good conversation is always stimulating!
ReplyDeleteIt made me think of Kim Erdman's firesides and how much I enjoyed his view of science. If one is wrong, it's not the scriptures.
My life experiences have taught me that there is "more" to it than the daily drudgery of dirty socks and meals. I often wonder why we keep having the same discussions at Church, can we not progress past the basics? It is so hard for me to keep giving lessons in faith and tithing and etc. etc. when we COULD progress PAST that! I realize we are not all on the same platform in our progression, but it's like being a brilliant student in the regular class some times. That is why I find my temple service so rewarding. It is like going to grad school and I lean something new every time. My son in law the scientist (PhD i physics no less) has the same view, there is something bigger than us out there and it directs our lives. We can see it often afterwards, we have a lot of trouble seeing it in the here and now. I often feel like a prisoner of time, Bro. Maxwell once said we are uncomfortable with time because we are not beings that are usually bound by time...hmm pretty amazing. Guess that explains my obession with a watch at all times/places!! Thanks for voicing some of my inner thoughts. I appreciate your blog and your friendship!! Love ya!!!
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