Repentant me

As I was in the middle of a stress-induced "flight or fight" mode last week, lying awake for two nights, praying and pacing the floors and tending Bethany's four sick children all day while she was at home labouring to deliver her baby, I became so desperate for her to be relieved of her travail that, in my mind, I ran out into the cold, wet night and shook my fist at God and shouted to the heavens, Why, why, when you see every sparrow that falls and notice every lily that blooms, do you let my Bethany suffer for so long? Why don't you reach down and just give that baby a nudge? All night long, I railed against what I perceived as His lack of concern.
You see, I thought I saw the big picture.
It was this simple: Bethany needed to deliver her baby and she didn't want another C-section.

Now, you may think it irrational of me, but unless you have had a daughter such as Bethany, who is a determined woman when it comes to delivering a baby, you cannot judge me. This is not a treatise on the joys of giving birth at home, but it was my choice as a mother and that of Bethany also. Her first baby was delivered prematurely by Caesarean section. She laboured at home with her second but ended up in the hospital and another Caesarean, mostly due to problems caused by the first. I was with her during that labour and also the third, when she rejoicingly delivered naturally and at home. That was a tough labour and I was awed at her determination and true grit. I'll spare you the details, but if I had ever had to endure such a labour it would have been general anesthesia for me from then on!
Number four was a little smoother, so we didn't expect much trouble from this last one.

Thirty six hours later, when the little darling still wouldn't cooperate, Bethany and her entourage went to the hospital, and, after a light epidural that let Bethany relax a little, our little Madelyn Nicole was born in a couple of pushes.
Later that day, when we took the four siblings to the hospital to see their new sister, she related what happened during the birth, as I had only received sporadic updates during the event. Then she casually mentioned one last detail of something that happened at the hospital.
Ah, I said, it's just as well you ended up coming in.
That's what I thought, she replied.
And there you have it.
Just when I had decided that my wants weren't being met, I discovered that my needs were really being taken care of.
Again.

And no, I'm not being overly dramatic.
My thirty-six hours were that bad.
Although, I will allow that they pale in comparison to Bethany's thirty-six hours.
Just so you know it's not all about me!

If you want to see some more cute pics and read Bethany's rather more understated version of the birth, go here.
And thank you for reading. May your year be wonderful.
Oh, and I removed word verification from the comments.
Just in case, you know, you're so inclined!