The WORST chocolate cake EVER!

Beautiful Dolly is moving.

Away.

From me.

Which is hardly fair, seeing as how we just barely became best traveling buddies and bosom friends.

Wow. That was a mighty stretch of alliteration, don't you agree?

Dolly and her sweet friend, Idella. 

Anyway. I threw a little luncheon for a few of her friends today and we had beans and rice.
And this.

It is the worst chocolate cake ever, in case you didn't notice the post title.
I wouldn't recommend you make it.
Ever.
But in case you want to ruin your day, and the next one after that, here is the recipe.
You can blame it on Pioneer Woman.
As usual, I've simplified the recipe, but feel free to refer to the original if you prefer the details.

Big Chocolate Cake

2 c butter

1 c cocoa

4 c flour

4 c sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 c water

1 c buttermilk

4 eggs, lightly beaten

2 tsp B. Soda

2 tsp vanilla

Line 4 9" round pans with waxed paper. Or, if you only have two, like me, do it in two batches.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Melt butter in a pan and add cocoa. Mix together and then add water. Bring to a boil for about 30 seconds and remove from heat.

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Stir in cocoa mixture, buttermilk, and eggs. Mix well. Divide between the four pans. Bake for 20 mins or until top is firm when touched. Cool in pans for 10 mins then tip out onto cooling racks.

Frosting

3 c heavy whipping cream

24 oz semisweet chocolate (I used 4 c chocolate chips)

2 tsp vanilla

Scald the cream in a pan (you know, heat till little bubbles emerge at the edge of the pan) and stir in chocolate until completely melted. Stir in vanilla and refrigerate till cool but not solid. Beat with electric beaters until colour lightens and the frosting becomes fluffy. Ish. 

Fluffy-ish.

Spread between the four layers and all over the outside. If you're lucky, you will have some left that you can nosh on in private when the cake is only a sweet memory.

Keep cake cool, in the fridge or in a glacial spare bedroom that has the heat shut off.

I call it my second fridge.

That's it. 

It serves about 24, so if you do get brave and make it.

Well. 

You know where I live.