Warning: Not a Funny Post.
I don't like whiny people.
And yet, here I am.
I think I have too many people in my life.
I can't seem to keep them all happy all the time.
If you know me, you know I am prone to unsubtlety, much as I try to be otherwise.
So, inevitably, I upset some of those people occasionally.
And then I stress over what I should have said, what I didn't say, how I could have done it better.
Or about how dastardly they are!
I've been thinking about all the disparate lists of people with whom I am in contact almost daily.
Piano students and their Moms and Dads and siblings.
Preschool owners, activity directors, and other workers at my music therapy sites.
Husband and kids.
And now, apparently, since I was made activities chairperson, the whole congregation at church.
Not that I aspire to the hermitage (you know I love to be sociable), but I feel like I've been losing my savoir faire lately.
What little I had to start with.
I'm not sure if it's because my grey cells are dying and I can't think fast enough, or whether the list has just become too long and I can't keep up.
Social networking at its worst.
I come home from church on Sundays and think Ack, all I did was run myself ragged and say things I wish I hadn't.
At the end of my work days, I wonder if anyone still thinks I'm an awesome music therapist and piano teacher or if they all think I'm becoming senile.
I edit and re-edit every blog post and facebook comment in order to not offend, but sometimes it still comes out wrong.
And who knows what my family thinks of me half of the time. Those cross-eyed looks and comparisons to Great-Nana give me a fair idea!
So, what to do, what to do?
I guess everyone has their periods of self-doubt. I have had them before, but not quite as pervasive as this one. I feel out of sorts and at odds with the world. I think I inherited my Dad's boundless optimism in possibilities and so a gloomy disposition feels foreign to me.
If I really had anything to complain about in my life maybe I wouldn't feel so unreasonable.
But I don't.
I shall have to come up with a cunning plan.
I just don't know what it is yet.
Suggestions from my lovely readers will be gratefully considered.
And now, a final word from our sponsor.
Listen for the hidden message...